Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Blind Faith

We have had emails and comments about a well-known blogger this week - one whose skeletons seem to be surfacing. She has people yelling "TROLL!", so we looked at everything we were sent and could verify, and felt we needed to comment on the rumors, especially on the domestic abuse.

Because we don't feel the blogger is a troll and because of the personal nature of the information in this post, we're not comfortable disclosing the name of the blogger here.

The blogger in question has unseemly things in her past that have just surfaced in the last week or so. But why should she be required to share them with her readers? There isn't a written etiquette on how much a person is required to share, and we didn't find any outright lies in her posts.

That said, this blog serves as another example that readers should take what they read online with a grain of salt, sometimes more.

For those who asked if there was truth in the rumors, we have verified that this blogger's house is indeed in foreclosure, and her husband has been arrested and was sentenced for domestic violence, among other things, while married to her. They do have a large tax lien as well. She is not faking her son's condition. These things are verifiable.

We touched on exaggeration with Nancy Bratt and it hit a nerve, so we won't go into our thoughts on if we think she has exaggerated her son's condition or used it to push people to her site for money when he was ill.

Outside of that, she does traffic people to her blog. She encourages them in different ways to click many times to her blog and through her blog. She also states in a recent post that she considers herself a professional blogger. As a professional blogger, having high traffic and clicks is good business practice.

She makes money off her blog, and she admits it. This doesn't make her a troll to us.

But with as "open" as the blogger appears to be, most of the comments we had were concerned more with how she appears to be happy-go-lucky while she's actually suffering privately in different ways. She's not required to share her suffering, but we can understand why an always happy lifestyle when such hardships have been unearthed would rattle people.

Not everything is as it seems on any blog, and readers should keep that in mind, especially before taking any blogger's advice to heart. You wouldn't want to take financial or business advice from a person with tax liens or whose business had failed. The same should apply in other areas as well.

Our biggest concern with the blog in question is the domestic violence piece. The blogger never mentions it and we can't fault her with that. There are understandably some things a person would not want to share with all the Internet.

However, we heartily believe that before a person whose spouse has served time for domestic violence offers marital advice, they should supply full disclosure.

This would seem even more important when the advice is as controversial and, from what we have read, counter-intuitive to DV as submissive wife principles.

NO domestic abuse information or expert supports a wife becoming more submissive after domestic violence, and for a national blogger to praise these methods as saving her marriage after abuse could be detrimental to other women with marital and spousal abuse issues who read the blog.

Equally as concerning is her take that the problems were her fault for not being more submissive. No spouse deserves abuse for any reason. Period.

What does it mean to be a Submissive Wife

Biblical Battered Wife Syndrome: Christian Women and Domestic Violence

What Mistakes do Churches Make About Domestic Abuse?
"Pastors and leaders need to emphasize that submission does not mean acceptance of disrespect and abuse in a marriage relationship."

We have no opinion on the submissive wife way of life outside of how it could affect a woman in a relationship with a history of domestic violence.

But please, before following the advice of any blogger, seemingly happy and doing well or not, please consult a real-life professional who has been trained in that area.

Domestic Abuse Helpline

National Domestic Violence Hotline